Welcome to my blog!

I'm a divorced mom with a teenage daughter and two pre-teen sons. Writing is my first love. When I'm not writing or working or playing taxi to the kids, I also toy with photography and baking.

So, basically, my camera rarely sees the light of day and my mixer stands in the corner in permanent time-out.

To see some samples of my writing, you can check out my website: www.csrickard.com

Tuesday, May 19, 2009

Things I've learned from my boys

I received this list via email a few years ago. I remember laughing so hard that I saved the email to a file. Searching through my folders for something else this morning, I stumbled upon the list and read it again. I still laughed, although not quite as hard as I have one son who falls almost into this category. Still, it is well worth a read and I thought I would share. According to the email, it is a true list from a mother in Austin, TX. I rarely believe any email stories that state "this is a true story," but it's entertaining nonetheless:

Things I've learned from my boys (honest and not kidding):

1. A king size waterbed holds enough water to fill a 2000 sq. ft. house
4 inches deep.

2. If you spray hair spray on dust bunnies and run over them with
roller blades, they can ignite.

3. A 3-year old boy's voice is louder than 200 adults in a crowded
restaurant.

4. If you hook a dog leash over a ceiling fan, the motor is not strong
enough to rotate a 42 pound boy wearing Batman under- wear and a
Superman cape. It is strong enough, however, if tied to a paint can, to
spread paint on all four walls of a 20 x 20 ft. room.

5. You should not throw baseballs up when the ceiling fan is on. When
using a ceiling fan as a bat, you have to throw the ball up a few times before you get a hit. A ceiling fan can hit a baseball a long way.

6. The glass in windows (even double-pane) doesn't stop a baseball hit
by a ceiling fan.

7. When you hear the toilet flush and the words "uh oh", it's already
too late.

8. Brake fluid mixed with Clorox makes smoke, and lots of it.

9. A six-year old boy can start a fire with a flint rock even though a
36-year old man says they can only do it in the movies.

10. Certain Lego's will pass through the digestive tract of a 4-year
old Boy.

11. Play Dough and microwave should not be used in the same sentence.

12. Super Glue is forever.

13. No matter how much Jell-O you put in a swimming pool, you still
can't walk on water.

14. Pool filters do not like Jell-O.

15. VCR's do not eject "PB & J" sandwiches even though TV commercials
show they do.

16. Garbage bags do not make good parachutes.

17. Marbles in gas tanks make lots of noise when driving.

18. You probably DO NOT want to know what that odor is.

19. Always look in the oven before you turn it on; plastic toys do not
like ovens.

20. The fire department in Austin, TX has a 5 minute response time.

21. The spin cycle on the washing machine does not make earthworms
dizzy.

22. It will, however, make cats dizzy.

23. Cats can throw up twice their body weight when dizzy.

24. 80% of men who read this will try mixing the Clorox and brake
fluid.

Women will pass this on to almost all of their friends, with or without
kids.

For those with no children - this is totally hysterical.

For those who already have children past this age, this is hilarious.

For those who have children this age, this is not funny.

For those who have children nearing this age, this is a warning.

For those who have not yet had children, this is birth control.

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